Courage
Last week I wrote about how it was time for things to change with the sleeping habits, so we decided to start sleep training last night. It was a tough 35 minutes of him crying. After a few adjustments with lighting & an awesome teddy bear he fell asleep & slept until 6:30 in the morning! He only woke up once & was able to put himself back to sleep--I didn't even have to get out of bed!
Once he fell asleep, I decided that I better go to bed as fast as I could because I was suspecting the worst from him in the middle of the night. I washed my face, I brushed my teeth, changed clothes, got into bed, turned out the lights, laid down, closed my eyes....and then BURST INTO TEARS!!!
If you think about it, I have had this child attached to me physically either by umbilical cord or boob for the last 20 months. We have never spent a night apart & now I was having to face the fact that my little baby had yet again taken a huge step from infancy to toddlerhood. (I'm also thoroughly convinced that every single babynapper out there got a memo saying that my child, my beautiful baby boy, was now sleeping away from his
As I lay in bed last night convincing my husband that Lboy was going to be taken from his crib from the phantom babynappers (don't watch Oprah I blame this fear on her) or that he was going to suffocate in his sleep, I started thinking about all of the other things I'm going to have to let Lboy do--things that will take courage on my part so that he can do them without me hovering over him (more courage than letting him sleep alone.)
Someday, he will learn to run & I will have to watch him fall down, get hurt & teach him to get back up again. Watching my baby cry takes courage. Someday he will have to go to kindergarten & he will be nervous around all those new faces & I will be nervous for him. And I will have to have courage to know that he will be alright & know that it's best for him.
Someday he will go to college, make mistakes, get his heart broken, choose a degree, graduate, choose a career, choose a wife, make bad & good choices--I will have to have courage to allow him to do those things & hope that by giving him the freedom to make his own choices he will be a better person for it.
For me as
17 Amazing Comments!:
Great post! I just kept nodding my head.
that made me tear up.. i was thinking about my baby & i haven't even had to watch him cry yet!! I'm an emotional wreck.
ps- whitley told me about how logan gets super jealous & freaks out & pushes todd away anytime you guys are affectionate w/ each other!! I think this is HILARIOUS & you should post video and/or write about it so i can enjoy seeing logan get pissed off at the fact that someone else is getting his mama's love. HAH! the joys of motherhood.
Thank you!
Yeah it's bad! lol Now it just makes Todd & me laugh--in the beginning it was frustrating but now it's just funny! I'll see if we can't get video of it & I'll write something about it! Thanks for the posting idea!
Oh & pregnancy will make you an emotional wreck--I would watch "A Baby Story" on TLC & would watch those women give birth & when they would meet their babies for the first time I would BURST into tears! I had to stop watching them after a while!
Awesome post! I might have to join in! Hubby and I stayed up super late last night talking about this exact topic concerning our kids!
I think that is the hardest thing we do as a parent, letting go. I have a difficult time letting go of alot of things. The past. The present. It is with ambivalence that I watch my own daughter grow, knowing in the future, she will be dancing on her own.
Nice to meet you. Five for Ten paved the way.
Thank you!--did y'all come up with anything enlightening?!
I have to remember I can't always be in control--it's a hard thing to teach myself every.single.day....thanks for stopping by! I just went over to your place--good post!
I love this. You hit on all the points when us mommies need courage. I'm so glad the sleeping on his own, is going well. I think I might join in on this 5 for 10.
Aww..I just want to give you a big hug and tell you it's all going to be okay. Really. It will. You will survive it all, and so will he. P.S: I didn't move X out of our room til he was over a year, so I know exactly how you feel!
I have a vague memory of that sleep training cry it out phase. I'm amazed that it isn't more vivid because it was so terrifying at the time!
Yes! And he's actually doing better than I am--he's asleep within minutes. It's just me! lol
He slept 12 hours last night, woke up once! I'm so proud of him--it's me that's having all the problems! lol
Thank you! It's not fun for me having to learn how to sleep by myself all over again--it's very weird!
Good for you guys! Each night will get easier. And the transitions will, too.
If I sit still and block out the distractions I can remember back to the days with my firstborn. And the emotional whirlwind of teaching him to sleep through the night. It's heart-wrenching, it's exhausting, but it happens. It does happen. With most kids I know. And then you'll move on to a new set of exhausting challenges. So thinking about all of this in terms of courage and strength and letting go is the really the best type of attitude to take with you, in my humble opinion.
Good luck to you and that sweet boy. And get some rest!
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