Punishments

My parents were a "No Spanking" family.

The one time I was ever spanked (before their no spanking policy was in place) didn't work. I remember being about six years old, I told a lie (my mom's biggest issue was with lies.) I remember getting bent over the knee, it hurt like hell, I looked up with no tears and said, "Is that all you got?" or something along those lines. Then ran to my room, slammed the door, & cried for an hour. But I wasn't going to let them know that it had worked.

I should have just cried in front of them and been done with it. Because what I did was dangerous, I challenged two lawyers. So, they put their heads together & came up with a different form of consequences. Since spanking clearly did not work, they created a way in which they could torture their overly, extroverted child--

THEMES! dun-dun-dun....

What is a theme?

theme: A very clever & sly, evil way that two outside of the box thinkers derive a plan to make their daughter suffer the consequences of her actions by assigning said child 1) a time that she must go to her room by herself, with no toys or siblings to distract her and 2) write a paper with an assigned number of words with a topic; such as:

1500 words on "Why I will not lie"
1000 words on "Why Hitting My Sister is Not Nice"
500 words on "Why I will do my chores the first time my mother asks"

I would be given a deadline & if that deadline was not met, then they tacked on another 200 words. GENIUS I say (I swear it's the reason school papers do not daunt me to this day. When I became a history grad student & had to write 30 page papers 4 times a semester, no big deal, I was spittin' out 5 page papers weekly when I was eleven all for being a brat.)

People, I guarantee you I had to have written 5 volumes of "Themes" (that probably doesn't speak very highly of me does it--I'm basically telling you I was in trouble all the time.) The concept is really quite brilliant--I was a total extrovert (still am) who HATED to be separated from people (still do.) It was sheer torture being sent to my room at 7:30 on a Friday night, with no family movie time, & with no interaction with people! I could hear them laughing, I could hear them talking, I could hear the movies, I could hear them eating (had to eat supper alone too), I could hear them all the time & it would kill me slowly!

I was thinking about those brilliantly, genius stupid themes yesterday as I watched my precious baby boy turn into a scary, screaming, monster thrashing on the floor because he wanted something he couldn't have. It put me in a momentary shock that such a ferocious, little, creature came from my angel and I was amazed my parents did battle like this with five kids & survived it (and still love us). It was in this moment that I realized that they really had no clue as to what they were doing. They, like everyone else, didn't have it all mapped out for them, didn't have a map legend telling them what huge decisions needed to be made, if those darn themes would work on me or not; it was a lot of guesswork, prayer, & diligence to mold the five of us into the people we are today.

I just hope that I can do it with as much grace as they did & I hope I can do as well of a job (because I'm pretty much the bomb :) & I hope that I don't totally screw my kids up in the process!

I would gather my sibs in this little hallway between our bedrooms & threaten and/or blackmail them plan "nights of mischief" with them where we would wreak havoc in the middle of the night. Yup, you guessed it, I usually had to write a theme after one of these nights.

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A special shout out to Maureen @ Tatterscoops for the Versatile Blogger Award! Go check her out she's awesome! And she always leaves comment love--She makes me feel special! And her blog is a fun place to stop by for some good reading!

And a huge thank you to LA Mama for the Happy 101 Award! She & I are in the middle of planning first birthday parties! Woot Woot! She's doing a princess theme--we connected over picking out cakes for our little ones! Go check her out too!

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Update on Sleep Training:

So were were ready to start & found out the crib we have was one of the 217,000 Graco recalled this week.  We ordered the free parts that are supposed to correct the problem and until we get them the website said that "Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed." So...I guess until we get the parts we are on hold... :/